Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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