I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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