I heard we made out
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I still have a little drunk in my system
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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