i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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