How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
