i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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