no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
