Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
