i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
