Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
