Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
