Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
