Joe is yelling at the trees again.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
