I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
