My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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