New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
