Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
i believe in u and ur pee
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