So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
