The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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