Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize