We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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