we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
