The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just blew my weed a kiss
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
