Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
