I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
