someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Only a mothe r could love this liver
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I licked your asshole in confidence.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
