i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
