what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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