Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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