STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
