HIV tests are more positive than that guy
there's paper in my vomit.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Text me some of your sweat
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