He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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