and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize