I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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