I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
