I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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