I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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