She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
