Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I wish my penis had an off switch
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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