She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize