Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I need a beard to bite.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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