booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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