I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
