god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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