I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize