He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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