im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
be right there i have to get my cape
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
