dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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