we have officially lost it.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
