I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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