The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I have fence marks all over my body
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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