i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize