the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
