I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
