I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
