Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
