just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
