if i can run in heels then i can drive
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
