i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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