I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just forgot I was standing up.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize