And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm way too hungover for life right now
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
