dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
